2 posts tagged “work”

What's holding you back from your dream job?

Huh.  Nothing right now.  Except the part where I'm not making any monies while I write.  Hmmm... That must be remedied.  What about the rest of you hunting for your dream jobs, eh?

So I picked up some business camos, built my own rifle-like resume from scratch, and set out at dawn... er, I mean two o'clock. 

I wandered the mall first, looking for a likely target.

• Selling frames for gigantic pictures that probably won't fit on your wall anyways, but looked neat in the store
  
• Babysitting candles that make your eyes water a lot more than any room full of unwashed teenagers in midsummer
  
• Guarding earring and occasionally punishing a random child with a new piercing (a crooked one, if it can be managed)
  

Daaaamn.... I picked up my homemade tool of employer persuasion and left the building.   There was some rustling in the bushes across the road, so I carefully made my through the jungle of cars.

• Installing stereo equipment for 1990's gang fans and their cars
• Risking being sucked into the black hole of toys while searching for the one that Timmy's mommy wants to replace before Timmy wakes up from his afternoon nap, since she accidentally put it in the dryer and it caught on fire
• Hooters.  Need I say more?

Worn out and with no success, I trudged my sporty Oldsmobile back to the base.  "I'll get you yet!" I shouted to the elusive job, shaking a fist at the skies.